Simplifying complex relationships for a better tommorrow, that's what Ms. Sharon is!!

It was 2:25 p.m, I was waiting in the queue for the bus. Just turned back and saw a young lady with strong built,dark complexion, spectacles, short hair standing behind me. She said,'I know these drivers, they are always late,...see the bus should be at 2:15 p.m, its no where nearby...do you take this bus daily?' I answered..'Ya, but last couple of weeks its showing late.' She continued,' I take the 3:20p.m bus, but today I am early, I used to drive to my office, but due to traffic during morning i started traveling by this irregular bus!!!'

I asked,'Where do you work?'She replied,' I work for family court at two places in the NY city.' I was a bit confused and asked,'Do you work for divorce cases, parents and children?' She said,' Ya, I work more with children, I am actually a MEDIATOR, I talk to parents and their children to resolve their problems and if its complex then present it to the Judge.' I said,' It's a different job.How did you land here?' She laughed and said,' I was a school teacher, started this as a volunteer job,got to meet lots of families.....liked talking to them, thought this is the field I would like to work, went to Law school, and am a full time mediator now!'

She said,' My daughter is coming today for thanksgiving...' I said,' Hey, you look so young.' She laughed again and said,' My daughter goes to college, i am not as young...as you think!!!' I was inquisitive and said,' How many cases you handle per day?' She said,'I can do 8-18 cases, but I only do 3 cases per day, I have to talk to the children, talk to their parents, I can't just hurry and do the paper work,sometimes people need someone who just listens to them, advice them, so I prefer sharing time.'

I asked her,'What's the most common cases you see?' She said,' Young children, vexed by the fact that they can't get the things they want like,if they were getting a pocket money of 10$,now are getting 5$ or a child who wants a 120$ snicker and now his parents can buy only one with 50$, failure to go for a dinner on Wednesday nights due to mother losing her job...makes the children difficult to digest and adjust with the facts that they cannot enjoy the privileges they earlier had, so they fabricate a story reporting to the Administrative Child Services (ACS) saying their parents don't take care of them, so the ACS visits their home,just in 10 min they study the family relationship and take the child in foster care so the main problem is financial.' It was 2:44 p.m, the bus came.We boarded it, sitting beside her, I was waiting to know more!!!!

I was more confused.....,' What's the foster care?' She said,' The children are placed in some other families, away from their parents who will take care of them and they are shifted from one foster family to another.' I asked her,' Who find these foster care givers?' She said....'Hey, we don't need to find those, there is a big list, people are waiting to do that so they can get 500$ for looking a child for 3 days and more if they look after him for a month...so its all money business you know, I just wonder if these foster parents really care for the sufferings of the kids who stay away from their families!!!'

It was all new for me, I further asked,'How long are they with the foster parents?' She said,' Its variable, some do not return to their parents at all.They stay in the foster families, attend school, they are in touch with family court till 18 years of their age and later on they are independent to make their own decision.' I was shocked to hear it..I asked,' What's your actual role?' She said, ' I talk to the kids,I make them realize how important parents are for them, just buying new things don't make good parents, tell them, when you were sick they looked after you...and all these years till you are 12 years,or whatever their age is.. they were with you thick and thin, how can you accuse them and file a complaint on the basis of a single incident??? most of the children realize their mistakes, they understand and say Ms. Sharon you are right, we will not do this again and then the case is dismissed. But there are thousands of foster children already, so I check whether they go to school, study properly, do not use drugs, are healthy, not abused...so on.' I asked,' So what if after repenting for his deeds the child wants to join his family?' She said,'No ...No..it's difficult due to all judicial work, so I prevent them from being a foster child..making them realize the future consequences.'

I was flabbergasted,said,'Ms. Sharon this is a herculean task!!!!'. She said,'You know dear, this is the job I love, I want the families to come together,enjoy each others company,communicate...though I don't make great money..but its the job I enjoy. I have the custody to take the kids to their parents for some family time and again place them in their foster families, they are very happy to meet their parents again, its great to see them smiling!' I asked ,' Can the parents ask the kids to stay with them?' She said,' It's again a tedious procedure,they have to make an appeal in court and prove that they regularly visited the kid at his foster home,love the kid and can take full responsibility of the kid.'

She suddenly hugged me said,' See you sweet heart again, Happy Thanksgiving.' I bid her good bye. Looking out of window, I was engrossed in thoughts...Is the parenting so complex?? Its beyond my understanding how can a child be happy in a foster family? For trivial things in life such a big punishment - both suffer !!!!Lack of communication, lack of understanding, failure of children to realize the value of money and most important the respect and love of their own parents...so they end up living in foster homes...!!! Hats off to Ms. Sharon who is playing an impeccable role of simplifying this complex social problem affecting the psychology of children and making each day worth living by knitting the families so they can sit down on the dinner table and enjoy the thanksgiving Turkey TOGETHER!!!

Music the co-factor we share..!!

I was feeling so bored and tepid, that afternoon, while returning home from the college. I stalked through few shops in the busy Bus Terminal, to indulge in window shopping. I entered in my favorite retail cloth merchandise, my eyes started searching for some different colors, patterns, sizes and of-course the price of variety of dresses displayed there. Ultimately decided to purchase a few I liked the most and left the shop........happily!!!!!! Ya.....I wondered??? why am I suddenly happy now???? what happened to me before entering the shop?? In fact losing money should make me feel more miserable....but its not?? May be shopping is the best remedy especially for girls to combat their depression and gain some enthusiasm.......It makes them more richer in their worldly assets or at least give them a pseudo hope of it....I guess hhahahahh!!!!!!

I took the elevator to reach the gate of my bus. The bus had just left so it was waiting time for me.I was checking for the timing of the next bus,a mature voice interrupted,' It's after about half an hour honey.' I turned around, a young lady with black short hairs, and beautiful eyes smiled at me. I said,' Damn it!!! that too, if there is no traffic, hopefully the bus will come on time.'

As i was standing behind her, in a few seconds, I saw, she was also carrying a shopping bag exactly the same I was!!!!! So i immediately asked her,' Did you do shopping downstairs?' She said,'yes, I bought some winter coats, they were good there and added you know, yesterday I went to Macy's and there is an extremely fantastic sale of footwear....you should really go...oh!! what did you shop honey?' And she curiously started looking for the stuff, i showed her. Wow!! you really have good taste.I was flattered by her appreciation...

I asked her,'What's your name and Where do you stay?' She replied,'Am Rose and I get off at the last stop of the bus, it takes me about an hour to reach there by this bus.' She asked ,' Where do you work?' I told her my name and said,' I too travel long about an hour in subway and about half an hour by bus to go to my college.' I continued asking her,' Where do you go in city?' She said,' I am a receptionist in a famous Hotel in the New York City, working there since last 22 years.' I appreciated it. She in an informative tone added,' I never travel by subway.' I inquired,' Why?' She said,' When i was young I was robbed twice, ...while traveling for my morning shift at around 6 a.m, they threatened me by knife, so i gave my purse and jewelery and just ran , from then onwards I prefer taking a walk or a bus.'

I said,' Its really horrifying.' Listening to her accent, I said,' Are you Spanish? She replied ,' Ya, I am.... but we are from Ecuador, its a small country in South America,the equator straddles through it.' I told her,' You are really having an impressive personality, European features with beautiful black hairs.' She smiled and said,' Actually my father was from Spain, and now I take a lot of care of myself at this age of 48 yrs, I eat more fruits and fish...and avoid red meat...haaaa!!'

I said,' Have you tried Indian food? it's spicy.' She said,' No, I have never, moreover I cannot eat spicy things at all!!!!' I was a bit astonished, as in the cosmopolitan city, most of people try Indian food and they like it. Then ,' What do you know about India?' By the time we were in Bus and were happy to share adjacent seats. She said,' I love Indian Music and Indian Cinema.' My jaw dropped,' Wowww!!!!! Its great...how do you understand the lyrics, language...do you know Hindi?' She explained,' You know everyone back home in Ecuador is a great fan of Indian Movies..We follow the translated subtitles to watch the movies, and Indian music is just the best in the world, all the songs are translated in Spanish.....I like the soothing, calm notes of various instruments played by them.'

She told ,' I always wanted to visit India. I admire the outfits too. I meet lot of Indian guests residing at the hotel as a part of my job. Once I saw a lady wrapped in a beautiful saree , her jewelery was mind blowing..... she had lots of servants taking care of her smallest things.' I said,' She must really from an aristocratic Indian Family, I too wonder who she might be?' Only a handful people in India can enjoy this lifestyle and luxury even today.

'Hey, Priti you surely come with your husband to my home, I will cook some Italian pastas for you.' She said. ' Surely, Rose..we will come.Do you have a family?' I asked. She replied,' My husband expired 2 years back, I stay alone, but take care of my sister's family, her husband is very sick, they cannot make their ends meet, so I help them financially, if I bring grocery for myself I bring it for her too, I give all my overtime money to them....you know I believe God gives me more when I help her.'

I just saw out of the window , my stop was about to come. I said,' Hey, Rose bye....see you again.' I came home.Enjoying the hot masala chai, listening to some Hindi song on my Netbook.....I admired Rose,the responsible sister she is!!! today I realized the pivotal role of Music....its universal... surpassing all the barriers created by human beings...the melody of it strong enough to revitalize our preoccupied minds and raise it higher to the divine spirit we all long for!!

A Simple but Ambitious Lady - Linda

It was around 2.30 p.m, I was standing second in the queue,for the bus.Unfortunately the bus was at 2:55 p.m and i had to wait. I opened the textbook I was carrying and started reading...!! A middle-aged lady, with a short haircut,just ahead of me, looked at me and asked,'Are you a student?' I smiled at her and said,' A teacher is always a student.....' She was happy to know about my field.She spontaneously asked,'What's your opinion on Mr.Obama's Health-care reform?' I was startled and said,' I am new here, so don't have much experience of health system in USA, just have heard about Mr. Obama's policies in news,saw lot of uproar in public about it, but truly speaking don't know anything about it!!!' I asked her,'What's your name?' She replied, 'I am Linda, am a social worker in New York City Hospital' I said,' It's great!Can you please enlighten me about the Health System in USA and Mr. Obama's policies.' She said,' Actually I am also a certified Massage therapist and have my own Clinic in Manhattan, as well as my work as a full time social worker makes me to interact with many patients...but in my opinion, I am not in favor of his reforms.' and she started to share her views...!!!!

Suddenly there was flashing of the headlights and the bus approached the gate.Ms. Linda was carrying a beautiful bouquet in her hand, I complimented her and asked,' Do you stay in NJ?' She said, ' No, I stay in one of the boroughs of Manhattan, I am visiting one of my client so am travelling.' We made ourselves comfortable in the front seats of the bus. I asked her,' When did you come here?' She laughed and said,'You know I never knew much about this country, when I came here from Philippines i was just 20 . I had done my graduation in Social Sciences, so joined a college here to take a degree. I started working as a part-time in a massage clinic, later on developed interest in that and did a course in that too.'

I said,' Its really nice, so you must have learned Anatomy too.' She said,' Yes,initially it was difficult for me, but it helped me.' She further added,' You know, as a social worker I interacted with lot of geriatric population, most of them suffering from Alzheimer's disease,after a few years, I thought may be massage therapy help them along with medicines and did a research on this at the university, you will be surprised to know that the patients showed positive improvement in their symptoms and are doing well!!' I was happy to know this. She added saying,' You as a human being should always be in the company of books and keep on thinking....'

I asked her,'Are you married?' She smiled and said,' Who will marry with a social worker, I have dedicated all my time in solving the problems of people who don't have a place to stay, food to eat,who even don't get the basic necessities of life......' She stopped and added,'But i did had a boyfriend long back, but we couldn't continue, I guess he felt more insecure by my ambitions...????.' I asked her,'Was he a Phillipino?' She laughed aloud and said,' All Phillipino males are afraid of me, so none of them, came near me....'

I asked her,'When do you, work as a Massage therapist?' She said, 'I enjoy doing that on Saturdays only , and on Sundays I take an off.' She joyously said,' The art and science of Massage is great, my patients are young people to old...affected by sedentary lifestyles or chronic illness tired of all medicines and who come to me, as a last resort,I on the other hand am stressed throughout from Monday to Friday working as the social worker, so working as a Massage therapist only on Saturday.....really acts as an antidote to relieve my stress too haahhahhahahahah!!!!! I said,' The change of job and ergonomics must be really helping you!!' She said,' I will be settling in Philippines after my retirement and have a dream to open a beautiful Spa center there.' I could really feel the confidence radiating from her face through her words...I had to get down from the bus as my stop was approaching...

I bid her good bye, crossing the zebra lines at the signal, I thought how difficult it must be for Linda to cross all the obstacles in life on her own, but it's the parable of her sheer determination , ambition and confidence that can take her to the pinnacle of her dreams. The insight to raise oneself as an independent humanbeing while growing in the diversity of society is what makes her exceptionally Professional!!!!